Sex after pregnancy: What you need to know

How soon can you have sex after giving birth?

Most doctors recommend waiting at least six weeks before having sex after giving birth. This gives your body time to recover after a vaginal birth or a caesarian section. In reality, you may prefer to wait longer than six weeks, and that’s okay too. 

When is it safe to have sex after giving birth?

It’s a good idea to wait until you’ve had your postpartum checkup to make sure everything is healing as it should before you resume physical intimacy. A six-week waiting period is usually enough time to allow your body to recover, but depending on your personal journey, your doctor may suggest you wait a little longer or give you the all-clear before the six-week mark. 

When does sex stop hurting postpartum?

Intimacy can feel uncomfortable in the months after giving birth, and it can take time for things to feel pleasurable again. How sex feels is very individual, and it can depend on a number of factors, such as how your physical recovery is going and whether or not you’re breastfeeding. A 2018 study found that 40% of women experienced pain during sex at six months postpartum, although in the same study, 29% experienced pain during sex prior to pregnancy. While this means pain or discomfort during sex is relatively common, there are steps you can take to reduce it, such as using lubrication or trying non-penetrative sex instead. 

If pain during intimacy is severe or persistant, it’s a good idea to talk to your doctor to rule out any other complications. 

What if I'm not interested in sex?

It’s totally normal to be put off the idea of sexual activity right now. On top of the lack of sleep and physical discomfort of the postpartum period, your body is also undergoing hormonal changes that can cause low sex drive and lead to other uncomfortable symptoms (like vaginal dryness). It’s important to wait until you feel ready and not to push through any pain. In the same 2018 study nearly half of participants stated having less sexual appetite than before pregnancy at six months postpartum.

You can still enjoy connecting with your partner, whether that’s cuddling on the sofa or holding hands. If a lack of desire for sex is paired with persistent feelings of guilt, despair, or low mood, it could be a sign of postpartum depression, and it’s a good idea to talk to your doctor to make sure you get the help you need. While the baby blues are a common part of being a new parent, postpartum depression is a serious condition that affects as many as one in seven women. It’s important to seek support early if you can — there is nothing to be ashamed of, and there’s no need to go through this on your own. 

How will postpartum sex feel?

Sex feels different for everyone, but there are some common symptoms to look out for:

• Vaginal dryness: A lower level of the sex hormone estrogen can lead to your vagina feeling dryer than usual and, in turn, can make sex uncomfortable. You may notice increased dryness if you are breastfeeding. 
• Feeling sore or tender: Low levels of the hormone estrogen, on top of healing tears or swelling from a vaginal birth, can cause more vaginal and perineal pain than usual in the postpartum time period. 
• Aches and pains: Backache and joint pains are common symptoms after giving birth — you may notice these more when you engage in physical activity like exercise or sex. 
• Nipple soreness: Hormonal changes and/or breastfeeding can make your nipples feel extra sensitive and painful. You may notice this during intimacy. 
• Pain from caesarian incision: If you gave birth via C-section, it can take time for your incision to heal. Avoid putting pressure on the area, and watch out for severe pain or leakage from the wound.
• Discharge: Postpartum bleeding typically goes away by six weeks after giving birth, but you may experience some vaginal discharge or spotting before you get your period back. 

You can expect these symptoms to go away over time as you continue your physical recovery and your hormone levels stabilize. Until then, it’s a good idea to take things slow and listen to your body. 

Tips for how to make postpartum sex more enjoyable

• Go at your own speed: There’s no need to rush things, waiting until you feel ready will help your physical and emotional recovery. Resuming intimacy at six weeks is only a guideline. You may want to wait several months, and that’s totally okay, too. 
• Use lube: A useful tool for tackling vaginal dryness and discomfort, lubricants reduce friction and make sex more enjoyable in lots of scenarios, not just postpartum sex.
• Try different things: There are lots of different types of sex, not just penetration, you may find oral sex or mutual masturbation more comfortable — talk to your partner about what feels right.
• Don’t ignore pain: While discomfort is common with postpartum sex, it doesn’t mean you should accept it. If you need to stop intimacy, you should feel able to do so at any time. You can also take steps to reduce soreness by taking pain medication or placing ice packs in painful areas. If sex continues to be painful even after you’ve healed, you may want to consult with your physician. 
• Keep up your kegel exercises: Strengthening your pelvic floor is an important part of postpartum recovery. These exercises help rebuild muscles that help tackle bladder incontinence and make sex more enjoyable. 

Getting pregnant after giving birth: What you should know

Did you know it’s possible to get pregnant again just a few months after giving birth? How long it takes for your fertility to return depends on the individual, and can be affected by whether or not you’re breastfeeding. Doctors recommend waiting at least 18 months after giving birth before you try to get pregnant again. This gives your body time to recover after giving birth and can help prevent complications with your next pregnancy. Therefore, it’s important to consider your birth control options before you start having sex again in the postpartum period.

Breastfeeding as birth control

If you’re breastfeeding, you can use this as a form of contraception, but you have to follow a set of guidelines: you must exclusively breastfeed, do so every four hours during the day and six hours at night, and your period hasn’t come back yet. Breastfeeding as a form of birth control can only be used up to six months postpartum. Breastfeeding is 98% effective as a form of contraception when guidelines are followed. 

What to consider when choosing birth control methods postpartum

Your situation is a little different now than before you had your baby. Therefore, your contraceptive needs may have changed. You can have a conversation with your doctor about birth control options in the hospital after giving birth or talk to them any time during a follow-up appointment. Contraceptive counseling is a helpful way to find the right option for you. Here are a few things to consider when starting birth control postpartum: 

Breastfeeding: Birth control methods containing estrogen aren’t recommended to be used alongside breastfeeding in the first weeks after giving birth, these include the combined birth control pill, the vaginal ring, and the patch. You may be offered a progesterone-based method instead, such as the mini pill.

Your new routine: With your day-to-day looking a little different now, you may want to think about how your birth control method will fit around your new way of life. If remembering to take a pill at the same time each day is going to be annoying or tricky, then you might want to try something that requires less work from you, like an IUD or an implant. 

Birth spacing: If you’re thinking of having another baby in the next couple of years, then a long-acting, invasive birth control method might not be the best option. Instead, you might want to opt for a birth control method you can stop using quickly, like the pill, or a hormone-free method like Natural Cycles. 

Here for you throughout your fertility journey

Natural Cycles is the first FDA Cleared birth control app. Based on the science of body temperature, it’s non-hormonal and non-invasive. You can also use the app to find your fertile window in order to plan pregnancy. You can either measure first thing in the morning with a basal thermometer, or wear your Apple Watch or Oura Ring to bed and measure throughout the night. In the morning, your data seamlessly syncs with the Natural Cycles app and you’ll see your fertility status for the day.

Our latest feature, NC° Postpartum, is here to support you in the weeks and months of giving birth, helping you navigate this new and exciting (and sometimes turbulent) way of life. Find out if Natural Cycles could work for you today!